I’ve been writing this post for weeks. I started the day Moira got fired from her day home (but really, patient I had been writing it in my head for a week before that). Well, not fired per se but we got the “this isn’t working out” speech and she isn’t going back. It’s true, it wasn’t working out. She was happy at first but hasn’t been for the last couple of weeks and it is a combination of things that I don’t feel like getting into except to say that I think the environment was way too stressful for her. She also picked up some nasty attitude that I now have to re-adjust. (Good luck, eh?) I was planning on pulling her out after my current contract ended (the day home also moved last week to a place further away and we try and us the car as little as possible in the winter) but this does leave me in a bit of a bind which is temporarily being remedied by her wonderful grandmothers.
I’m starting to think I’m not great at this whole balance thing – it’s kind of all or nothing for me and I really need to work on that. The truth is, I like to work and I am enjoying my job right now but the stress of dropping Moira off and not knowing what kind of day she was going to have was getting to me. The past month has been very stressful because, as with every new job, I have to adjust to a new workload. I’ve been spending a lot of evenings working too which means spending very little time for the Mister. Before I started working and abandoning Moira with strangers I was working out almost every day too and now… nothing. Now I have to find somewhere new for Moira too and go through that adjustment process again. I don’t know how you moms who work full-time do it. The friend I work with asked me if I would like to come and work for them full-time in a position that I would have jumped at had it not been for Moira. Right now I won’t even consider it. I have no interest in dropping her off at daycare first thing in the morning, picking her up and then only getting to spend an hour with her before bedtime.
Anyway, work (will talk about my awesome job in another post someday) is really ramping up right now as the event is fast approaching. These days I spend almost no time doing personal things on the computer. I have an inbox full of personal e-mails I haven’t responded to so if you are one of those people (like, my best friend who got MARRIED (on paper) and I haven’t even e-mailed her back yet – yikes!) I apologize and I will either a) get to it someday or b) declare e-mail bankruptcy and just start again so it might be wise to send me another e-mail if you want to get a hold of me.