The Mister had been working 13 to 15 hour days for 5 days in a row (over the weekend too) and I had a very small taste of what it might be like to be a single Mum – and let me tell you, pfizer kudos to all the single Mums and Dads out there because I’m freaking exhausted and feeling a little sorry for myself. The apartment is a mess and, sildenafil quite frankly, look I think it stinks a bit. I keep thinking it’s the diaper pail but that gets cleaned every second day – heck, it’s #2 out of the top three things that gets cleaned around here: Moira, Moira’s diapers and Moira’s clothes and other accoutrements. Once I get through all of that I’m pretty much done for the day. I, on the other hand, could really use a shower and a good hair cut/colouring because the grey is getting a little too long for my liking. I’m starting to think what stinks around here is me.
Moira is asleep right now. She has gotten it into her head lately that 4 a.m. is a good time to wake up and play. Now, I’m not stupid enough to actually get up and play with her at that time (in fact she doesn’t even need to be fed then because she was JUST fed an hour or two before) but it does mean that I have to spend a significant amount of time calming her down and trying to get her back to sleep. So, after her late night and her 7 a.m. breakfast she has decided to sleep it off for a while.
Check out her crazy receding hairline. I think she is going to ask me to start combing it over soon and be scouting the stores for polyester pants.
I, unfortunately, was unable to fall back asleep.
With the Mister “away” I have been going to bed around 8 p.m. That doesn’t mean that I have been asleep at 8 p.m. but Moira doesn’t like to be put to bed (read: goes from almost asleep to hyperventilating/screaming in 0 to 60 seconds) and I’m not really into letting her cry-it-out at 10 weeks old so I just lay down with her to calm her down. I find that if I have her snuggled in beside me and regulate my breathing she falls asleep quickly. The obvious result, of course, is that she isn’t the only one. The next thing I know it’s midnight or 3 a.m. and I’m still in my clothes and haven’t brushed my teeth yet. But with the Mister not around I don’t really have any reason to stay awake so it doesn’t matter.
Shortly after writing the above, Moira woke up and I didn’t get to finish what I was writing. Right now she is in her bassinet and I’m trying to get her to take a nap. My Mum looked after her this afternoon while I went to the chiropractor and got to see for her self that this little girl will fight sleep tooth and nail now matter how tired she is. She’ll fall asleep on you but once you put her down she starts, what I can only imagine, is a blue streak of cussing that could make a sailor blush. However, since it is in baby language I can’t understand a word of it and am free to ignore it as long as it doesn’t turn into actual crying.
All this is to say that no matter how hard the last 5 days have been the universe always has a way of saying “Hey jerkface, quit your whinging and be grateful that guy you miss still gets to come home and snuggle up with you in the middle of the night.” This morning’s wake-up-call was brought to me by www.mattlogelin.com, a blog about a guy who lost his wife 27 hours after their daughter was born. I dare you to read it without feeling weepy, especially this entry.
Okay Universe, I hear you and am officially getting over myself.