Things I wish I didn’t care about #1: My Hair

Don’t worry – this won’t be a whole month of me talking about things I wish I didn’t care about.

But now that I have your attention, remedy let’s talk about my hair for a while.

Lately, sanitary my hair is driving me nuts. I could start off talking about the terrible hair cut I had in May (last time it was cut) but I have curly hair and most cuts are terrible so I won’t mention how the drag-queen-wannabe “stylist” thinned the crap out of my already thin hair after I told her I was trying to grow out the layers (thus adding many MANY more layers). Thinning makes curly hair frizzy by the way.

I used to really love my hair. I’ve never fought with the curls – I’ve always liked them. I’m pretty low maintenance as far as up-keep goes, discount I can’t be bothered to straighten my hair and after reading the book Curly Girl I don’t even use shampoo – I just condition it and go. But I must have gone through a couple years of serious hair loss recently because now I am getting all this new growth and of course, most of it is grey.

The grey is the real problem. You see, I like my natural hair colour. I want to keep my natural hair colour. However, my natural hair colour obviously has somewhere else to be (like all over my apartment) and the new growth is coming in so exuberantly it sticks straight up and waves to anyone who passes. I suspect the new growth watches Oprah when I am not around and is finding it’s spirit – something I am obviously not.

The solution would be to colour my hair – which I do, occasionally. But I was letting it grow out a bit and then I got pregnant and they say not to colour in the first trimester and I really hate colouring anyway. Colouring my hair makes me a bad environmentalist (the packaging!) and I know that if I want it done right (meaning, not by me) I have to pay for it. Once you start I start getting it done professionally – well, that’s hundreds of dollars a year.

Besides, the double standard behind being female and having grey hair really irks me. Anderson Cooper looks distinguished but I’m going to be mistaken for the Bride of Frankenstein.

Let’s admit up front that gray hair on men is distinguished. On women, it’s just old. He’s a silver fox. She’s a crone. Oh, well, that’s why there’s Clairol.

Apparently, “Silver Fox” men are also better lovers and make good fathers once they trade in the first wife:

And he may pay a lot more attention to children of his later years than kids who came along while he was fully immersed in building his career.

Special thanks to MSN.com for that totally useless article.

Anyway. I have decided to embrace my changing hair and become a grey hair model – you know, in about 20 years time if it is still trendy then (and once they get rid of that pesky height requirement). I’m sure you have noticed the increase of silver haired models around – silver is the new grey right? So, tomorrow morning I am calling the salon where I actually interviewed (consultation) the next person who will be cutting my hair (no more surprise cuts for me!) and canceling the colouring part of my appointment.

(p.s. please don’t hold me to any of this – I will probably change my mind 10x before the night is through and I will certainly change it the first time one of my children’s friends asks why their Mum looks like a witch.)

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