The presence

Photo by Gaetan Lee

Yesterday morning I woke up just before 3 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep. My brain was on overdrive and all I could think about was making things to sell and how my fabric stash could be turned into something profitable instead of something that embarrasses me. This has been an idea I have been playing around with for some time. Part of me doesn’t want to create more stuff in the world or take myself away from writing. But part of me misses the creative outlet of sewing and likes the idea of using something old to create something new (because really, about it people will never stop shopping). I have been battling this for a long time now and it woke me up last night and got me out of bed – although not out of bed to do anything creative, herbal I was way too tired for that. I went back to sleep from 6:30 until 10 a.m. but was out of sorts for the rest of the day. My ex-boyfriend used to say that my brain was like a third presence in the bed with us.

About the most productive thing I managed to do yesterday was to go through a couple bags of clothes in the bottom of my closet and divide them up: one to donate, one to sell and one full of material which will hopefully been turned into other things – mostly diapers. I’m reading up on diaper making right now – not to sell mind you, just to use. Even better than using cloth diapers would be using diapers I made myself out of materials that are already laying around the house.

Because I was so out of sorts the Mister suggested we go for a walk and despite my half-assed whinning wouldn’t take no for an answer because he is annoying like that and knows what is best for me. While we were out the coolness of the air and the activity started making me feel better and then we turned a corner and a big smiling husky saw us and came running at us, gave us a good sniff and kept on walking (the owner wasn’t far behind).

“This walk was totally worth it just for that,” I said. Walks are always worth it when an animal is involved.

Despite getting out for a walk I still couldn’t sleep last night. And once again I got up and did nothing. Maybe I am eating too much sugar during the day? Drinking too much tea (two cups over the course of the whole day)? Who knows? I think the Wrackspurt grew this week – or at least I did – which is taking some getting used to. I fully expect to be sleep deprived once the baby comes – I would just like my brain to shut off long enough  to get an average night in now while I still can.

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