So about a month ago I got a ‘thank-you gift’ from Rogers since I have my cell phone through them. You got to choose your gift and I can’t remember what the other choices were because the one that caught my fancy was the opportunity to have a free 3 or 6 month magazine subscription with one of their magazines. Not having had a magazine subscription in a long time I thought it would be nice to get something in the mailbox other than bills. I waffled for a while between magazine choices (Today’s Parent was in the lead for a time) but feeling like there was a dearth of news in my life I chose to go with the 3-month subscription to MacLean’s (it is a weekly magazine). Last week I got my first issue – a review of 2009 in little (written) sound bites. Mostly boring.
This week’s issue has this splayed across the top:
TIGER WOODS: THE FALL OF THE WORLD’S GREATEST ATHLETE
To the left of the headline is a photo of Woods and to the right is a photo of his supermodel wife. The magazine has sat in the bathroom since it arrived and I haven’t read it yet because every time I look at the cover I am filled with rage. So I ask you: why is this news? WHY IS THIS NEWS? Let’s be honest here – nothing about this is news. A famous athelete with a beautiful wife likes to sleep with lots of women. Maybe it is sad that the only thing I find shocking is that anyone cares or is shocked. Mostly what bothers me about this headline is “the world’s greatest athlete” bit. Last time I looked Tiger Woods was a golfer. A Golfer. Old Scottish men with fat paunches are golfers. Any out of shape jackass can play golf.
Okay, sales I admit I know very little about golf but no matter how great a golfer Woods is, adiposity the truth is he isn’t some heptathlete (or even a triathlete) who has dedicated his whole life to only eating egg whites and cottage cheese and training 13 hours a day because his body is a temple. He plays golf. To me that doesn’t make him an athlete – and certainly not “The World’s Greatest” athlete.
And MacLean’s, which was a magazine I liked reading in high school, thinks this is news. I checked out their website today to find out how I could unsubscribe and what did I find front and center? A Need to Know column. The headers in this column are as follows: Canada, World, Science, Religion, Health, Environment and… you guessed it, Tiger Woods.
At least Today’s Parents had crafts in it. Damn me and my tree-wasting ways.