I got the idea for this entry from reading Jeanine’s blog and she got it from reading this blog. It’s taken me a while to write though even though it seems like a good exercise. For as much as I like making lists (like my 32 in 32 list) I don’t really make resolutions. I don’t think of my list as a bunch of resolutions – more just like a creative to-do list of things I would like to accomplish. Resolutions seem to negative and I put enough pressure on myself with out them. However, search I like the idea that before you can move on to the next stage in your life you need to reflect on the past – and on a smaller scale before you can embrace 2008 you need to declare 2007 complete.
1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?
(What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)
This year can be divided into three parts for me: working, recuperation the environment and being pregnant. Until July this could have been called the Year of Work. For a while I had two full-time jobs and I took a chance and went down to one not-very-stable but way-more-creative job. I wrote a lot more for work and wrote in new and different areas (for example: scripts and way more about the environment). I paid off my $9,000 student loan after only being out of school for one year (one promise kept). The year or work continued up until November even though after September it became the year of no paycheques. Still, I saved money for us to go traveling to Ireland and we actually went (another promise kept). It cost us less than $3,000 for our three week trip, total. This year I read more books about the environment than ever and while this has made me even more of an environmentalist it has also made me better at research and more determined to learn the truth of things before making decisions.
The other major part of the year revolved around my being pregnant. Slowly my environmental research shifted into parenting research. And my “be up by 7am everyday” nature (even though I worked from home) quickly turned into “if the baby and I need sleep, the baby and I are getting some sleep.” The alarm was turned off, naps were taken and suddenly eating tea and toast as my main meal of the day wasn’t good enough anymore. By having to take care of someone else I started taking care of myself. I took more breaks to spend time with the Mister knowing that this freedom won’t last.
Things I learned about myself: I am a very hard worker when challenged to be, I am able to live off of a small amount of money and be very happy, my body is healthier and stronger than I gave it credit.
2. What is there to grieve about 2007?
(What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)
I grieve for mylack of knitting and sewing, my lack of personal writing and my inability to keep a small apartment clean. I forgive myself for these things though – there always has to be a give and take to any situation, in 2007 I gave myself to my work. Next year I am giving myself to the Wrackspurt. Priorities. The apartment will probably stay dirty and the knitting will gather dust again after April for quite a while. This year was scary and hard on many fronts: taking a leap into a job that didn’t offer stability and then having that job kind-of blow up in smoke. Getting pregnant earlier than expected. Having the Mister’s funding run out and then having to watch him battle through a crazy job market and constantly be rejected or worse, ignored. Still, we just keep looking at each other and know that we will get through it as long as we have each other.
3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
Nothing, I think I have said enough.
I declare 2007 complete!
The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2008? Is it the year of joy? the year of self-care? the year of partnership?
2008 is my year of motherhood!
I mean really, what else could it be? I’ve been wracking my brain for days trying to think of what I could call this year that sounded more inspiring like Summer but that’s it: motherhood. I’m excited.
(Mondo Beyondo Part Two: Where are you going? is coming soon)