There was a time when people would ask me what I did and I would say something lame like, unhealthy “Well, information pills right now I’m at home with my daughter but really I’m a…” fill in the blank there – a writer? An editor? (I wouldn’t trust myself to edit an e-mail these days). I would say this as though staying at home raising children wasn’t enough even though it was my decision and something I felt strongly about. In the classic battle between Working Moms vs Stay-at-Home Moms I didn’t know where I stood so I tried to do both for a while. And whether or not other people were looking down on me for my decision to stay home I know I was looking down on myself because I felt like I should be doing it all: contributing to the rent, raising children, not letting my years of education slip away from me…
Then somewhere it all just sort of slipped away. The worry. The self-doubt. The ability to care what other people thought or complete a project (not to mention an invoice) on time.
Now when people ask me if I’m staying home with the girls I give an enthusiastic Yes. When they ask how I like it I tell them I love it (because even on days when I don’t – I still do).
After Moira’s tumultuous toddler years I now know, without a doubt, that staying home was the right thing to do – for both of us. (Who else would put up with that sh!t?) Of course now I do terrible things like threaten to send her to daycare (this is still coming back to haunt me by the way) but we won’t talk about that.
Being a parent teaches you a lot about yourself – some of which you didn’t really want to learn.
Just as once upon a time I didn’t want to think of myself as just a stay-at-home mom I also don’t like to think of myself as just a mommy blogger – but, inevitably, I do talk about my children and I am interested in parenting issues. I find that I read quite a few blogs by women who are moms but not exclusively. I don’t really think of those women as “mommy bloggers” but as women who are also moms and I do enjoy watching their children grow through their eyes and words.
Is this another instance of Us V.S. Them? The quote-unquote Mommy Blogger V.S. The blogger who is a mom? Does it matter? Probably not. I know what I like to read and that is enough for me. As long as the writing is good and people aren’t trying to shill products at me I’m content.
So am I a mommy blogger? Well, yes and no. However, someone was kind enough to nominate me for this:
Yes, it is a “mommy blogger” award**. I hesitated at first but I think the last time I won an award for anything it was for getting the highest mark in grade nine Social Studies. And like I said, someone actually took the time to nominate me for this. If I couple this with the e-mails I have received lately about why I’m not blogging much and requests for me to write more (friends always know the right thing to say, don’t they?) I’m feeling pretty touched and will try to ignore my children more so I can write more.
*The Bubz is Moira’s nickname at home and just so no one starts screaming at me there was never any point where I didn’t love her – do I even need to mention this? I didn’t think so.
** You can vote every day for this award – but the chances of me reminding people to vote for me are pretty slim. Except you Mum. You can vote for me every day.