Lame Children’s Books I Have Read: Eeyore You’re The Best

I buy a lot of books when I am out at the thrift stores. I have a particular weakness for Little Golden Books and love a lot of the stories. They aren’t all great but – I’ll be honest – I can’t be bothered to read every book cover to cover when I’ve got a squirmy baby strapped to my chest and a toddler starting to whine because I’ve run out of bribes snacks. Also, information pills since I don’t let Moira watch TV I will pretty much read her anything she wants because I’m trying to instil in her a love of reading. That is why I’m starting a new series called Lame Children’s Books I Have Read because as much as bloggers like to wax poetic about all the wonderful children’s literature out there – there is a lot of crap too and often that is what the kids want to read. Don’t worry – I’ll still get misty eyed over the good stuff.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.

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Every time I finish reading this book I think:  Eeyore – you are the lamest! Of course, it isn’t Eeyore’s fault, it is the Disneyfied vomit-inducing interpretation of Winnie-the-Pooh that has made its way into books. I’m sure A.A. Milne would be turning over in his grave if he had to read this drivel. In this particular gem Eeyore wakes up one beautiful sunny morning with a rain cloud over his head.

Eeyore, who likes to be gloomy, had hoped to wake up happy on this particular day because he was going to participate in the talent show that Christopher Robin is hosting. However, the arrival of the rain cloud means that he can’t turn somersaults (although I’m not sure why) so he drags his Sorry Little Ass along to tell the others and they beg him to stay and watch the show. Which he does, moping the whole time.

I think one reason this book bugs me so much is because Moira cries so much that for a while I was saying completely ridiculous things like: you can choose to be happy, Moira. Seriously, I never know who I’m going to be met with in the mornings: Jekyll or Little Miss Hyde. So here comes Eeyore being all sad for no real reason ALL THE TIME and I wonder what kind of lesson this is teaching my child.

However, it is the ending that really gets me. So, of course, Christopher Robin decides everyone is a winner because a) he’s five years old right? and b) this is Disney and everyone has to be special (which means no one is). BUT as everyone is getting their winner/participant ribbons & Eeyore is sitting there feeling sorry for himself the sun bursts through his rain cloud and creates a rainbow.

“Hooray for Eeyore,” they all shouted.

Really? Eeyore should win? Eeyore should be hoisted up on their shoulders and carried along like a conquering hero? Pooh juggled while balancing honey pots on his head! Roo played the drum while hopping on one foot! Eeyore did nothing.

I have to admit feeling angry every time I get to the end of this book. Why on earth should Eeyore win? What kind of lesson is that? Eeyore didn’t do anything and yet they were all going out of their way to make him feel better and so he gets to win. Yuck.

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Got any books making you crazy these days?

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