Interview Week: Tuesday

Tiffany asked: Whatís the number one piece of parenting advice that youíve been given and have found worked?

This wasn’t “parenting” advice per-se, symptoms it was advice from my doctor about childbirth who said “it’s good to know what you want but keep an open mind because you don’t know what is going to happen” and that can be said about all aspects of parenting I think (and life). This advice worked for labour too because I really wanted to stay away from drugs if possible and ended up having a c-section. I was hoping we would have a baby who wouldn’t need a soother but I thought that would be preferable to sucking her thumb – but in the end I would have been happy with any method she choose to self sooth as long as she would GO TO SLEEP! I wanted to stay away from things such as Infant Tylenol and use homeopathic remedies but when it is 3 a.m. and she is pushing through FOUR TEETH at once the homeopathic tablets just weren’t cutting it and I wasn’t going to let her suffer. I would love to feed Moira only organic food but that isn’t in our budget but at least I make her food and feed her a real variety of stuff. There are trade offs on everything and I think having a baby, viagra sale for me, has blown my mind wide open.

Here is where I get a little ranty: A couple months ago one of the blogs I occasionally read said she wasn’t going to read this other (rather famous, well loved) blog anymore because the woman was letting her child Cry It Out (CIO) and she thought that was a form of child abuse and she didn’t agree with it. This, as you can imagine, caused a shitstorm of epic proportions especially from the fans of the other (rather famous, well loved) blog. I never commented on either blog and I am certainly not linking to either of them (neither of whom meant for it to get so crazy and it really was a sad situation because some of those comments were nasty) but the whole thing made me very sad because how I feel about motherhood is this: this job is really freaking hard and why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t we be supportive without the bitchy one-upmanship that I see every where. You use disposables; I use cloth diapers – who cares? Breastfeeding didn’t work for you? Who am I to judge? Your baby sleeps in a room by his/herself OR your baby sleeps beside you in your bed? I Don’t Care! I mean, I care and I am interested and I have opinions on all of this. But every baby is different, every family situation is different and every Mother needs to do what can to cope and be the Best Mum Possible.

Personally, I don’t agree with the CIO is child abuse mentality – I think it diminishes what is really child abuse: neglect, starvation, physical harm, and those stupid baby shoes with heels. On the other hand I almost never let Moira cry for very long because I find there is usually something I can do about it (but sometimes there isn’t) and can’t stand listening to her. Some children (Iím looking at you nephew Sam) cried for the first year of their life. THE ENTIRE YEAR. It wasnít so much that my sister was letting him CIO as it was that the rest of the family had to take a break from their attempts to get him to stop crying once in a while.

Only one question today – I’m going to get off my soap box now and have a cup of tea.

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