Foto Friday ~ Be afraid Staring Girl

Maybe you noticed I posted my 33 in 33 list earlier this month. It’s cool if you haven’t, buy more about the list is for me but I like to post it because it gives me something to talk about plus it keeps me somewhat accountable. (I’ve only got 17 items on there right now – the year is still young). On that list is a big one – Get laser eye surgery (Maybe. If we can afford it.) Last year’s list got abandoned after the big one Have a baby was crossed off but this year I am hoping to do some more things that involve stretching myself and less things that involve OMG I had a baby (while still, public health you know, hygiene being a Mother to that now standing, less-babyish-everyday baby).

Now, let me give you some background on my eyes.

THEY SUCK. No, really. I’ve worn glasses since the 2nd grade. I got contacts in grade 8 but I haven’t been able to wear them much over the last five years because my eyes are so dry and irritated all the time. The Mister and I make jokes about how dry my eyes are. After Moira was born I spent three weeks crying all the time and my eyes NEVER FELT BETTER! (I hoped that meant my eyes were fixed but, alas, no.) When I was in high school my Mum got laser eye surgery and since then I have been telling myself somedaySomeday when my eyes stop deteriorating. Someday when I have a job that pays well. Someday when I am old and no one is paying attention to me anymore… I will get my eyes fixed. Okay, it was mostly the deteriorating eyes (for a while there my prescription was changing every six months) and the money. I think my eyes continued to deteriorate because the eye doctor was changing my prescription every six months. Even now, with my glasses on, I feel like the world is a blur and I try hard not to drive at night (and for this everyone is grateful). That whole someday business, however, gets annoying when you want to be able to see your life right now.

For some reason I was under the impression that your eyes had to not change for three years before you could get laser eye surgery. For me three years seemed like a lifetime. But I decided to stop going to the eye doctor no matter how crap my vision was. I decided to only pull out my contacts for special occasions (and swimming) so that my eyes could rest. Then I started counting the months and the years – although it has probably been only two years since I have last had my prescription changed.

Do you ever get that feeling like you are waiting for your life to begin? I try not to live that way but I do: things will be better once I get a new job. Things will be better once we move and/or buy a house. Things will be better when I tone up/stop drinking coke/fit into my jeans from high school and become a completely different person – even though there is nothing wrong with things as they are. So I guess what I am saying is that I am sick of waiting for someday. I want to be able to see well NOW. I want to be able to roll over in bed and look at the clock radio and be able to SEE the time. I want to be able to wear make-up once in a while. I want to stop having to decide between eyes being burned by the sun because I am wearing my glasses OR putting my contacts in, having them fuse to my ridiculously dry eyes but being able to wear sunglasses. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see more than just my glasses (even if they are nice glasses). I want people to be able to see my eyes and see more than my glasses.

Today I had my assessment done for laser eye surgery. I’m a candidate. When I asked how long the waitlist for surgery was the guy said, “How is Thursday?” Well, Thursday is way too soon since I am going to need to make arrangements for someone to help me out and take care of Moira but… soon. I’m getting my eyes fixed soon – and soon is so much better than someday. I have waited SO long. I’m so excited my eyes are prickling with static – which for the rest of you would be called getting teary.

(Now if you excuse me I will stop talking about myself to go and find a video of Obama’s inauguration speech because it was going on at the exact time as my eye appointment.)
Be very, visit web
very afraid…

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