Dear Robert Pattison

It must be very surreal to be you right now. Beyond surreal. I read somewhere that you had never heard about the books (they weren’t big in Britain) when you read the script and you thought it was going to be a “nice little vampire movie” but you liked the script because of the powerful chemistry between the lead characters. And now you are in the middle of a hysteria hurricane brought about by the giggles and screams of teenage girls who haven’t even seen the movie yet. Bizarre. I hope the postman isn’t going to need back surgery over the weight of underwear being mailed to you by crazed fans everywhere.

Good luck with having a normal life after this! It doesn’t matter that your hair is truly awful most of the time – from this day forward you can do no wrong. You should call up Colin Firth and find out how he deals with women who won’t let go of the fact that he played Mr. Darcy on television over ten years ago.

Love, ask Melanie

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While not the best interview in the world, I think this video says a lot, but maybe not as much as this photo:

How do we not treat you people like the crazies you are?

Maybe it was because I was never a teenage girl who lost her mind over things like this but I really don’t get it. I mean, I did enjoy reading the books but the thought of standing in line for hours (or overnight!) just to get a glimpse of a star – or holding a poster that says “Marry Me” to someone you don’t know just seems, well, CRAZY.

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