I have this theory that everything we want is already out there. I don’t know when I developed this theory but it was a long time ago. It may have been developed out of broke-student necessity (all of my couches are still second hand) but I believe it was definitely honed in the pre-parenting days of feathering our nest. One thing that can always be relied on is that there will always be people having babies – and therefore there will be people out there happily willing to get rid of the baby things they no longer need. People used to ask me what the theme to Moira’s “nursery” was and my response was always, “hand me down chic.” Knowing that there were hundreds of cribs out there waiting for new homes made it less stressful to have a baby when we had zero money coming in (at least materially). And, in spite of my parents safety fears, we managed to navigate the roads of those early baby years in an almost 20-year old Chevy Sprint that I bought second hand a decade earlier.
Older, and with more money (thanks to husband-with-good-job), we have a nice house and drive a purchased-new-but-with-a-large-hail-damage-discount Honda Odyssey. I find with all these middle-age trappings it is even more important to remember that everything we want is already out there and we don’t need to rush to the store every time something strikes our fancy. For example: Moira and I watched Mamma Mia last week and Mamma Mia Here I Go Again this week (personally both quite awful but the music is fun) and she really wanted some of the songs for her iPod.
More context: earlier this summer we gave each of the girls an iPod: one was the Mister’s old one, one was an old one of mine, and one we asked around to see if anyone had one they weren’t using (to which we got quite a few responses). But we don’t have a music service like so many other people (all those monthly services add up!) – we still listen to CDs, which the Mister rips, puts up on the house “music server” and we copy to the girls iPods. Sometimes if there is only one song that we want we will get the CD out of the library (I have been waiting months for the soundtrack to A Star is Born to come in so that I can continue to torment my daughters with me singing Shallow in the car but I really don’t want any other song on the disc.)
So, knowing that ABBA Gold came out decades ago and millions of people bought it I started asking around if anyone had a copy they weren’t using.
First stop was family: my brother, who got rid of his copy with all his CDs after he ripped them, said he could get it for $17 off of Amazon and have it here next day because he is a Prime member. Kind of him, but not what I was going for.
Second stop was the local Buy Nothing Facebook page for my community. My neighbour behind me dropped off her copy this morning on her way to work. It had been sitting there collecting dust.
It was only a two step process. Sometimes it take many more steps and that’s okay too.
When the girls saw me looking up canes to purchase off Kijiji (which is an online classified ads website across Canada), Moira called grandma to see if she had any. She had two – neither of which she needed. That was a one step process.
Sometimes this doesn’t work and we have to go further afield to find what we need/want or, *gulp* buy new, but we always try to refer to Sarah Lazarovic’s print of the Buyerarchy of Needs that we have in kitchen to remind us daily of what is important. There is something deeply satisfying in knowing that for a brief moment in time we are able to avoid the whole consumerist machine.
My mum says (tongue-in-cheek, but always with sadness) that I shouldn’t worry about these things so much because my footprint is already going to be small because I’m dying young. However, I’ve always been this way, and what kind of person would I be if I didn’t care what I was leaving behind? (Also I drive a van and can now barely walk so my footprint is probably huge). Teaching my girls to pause before rushing head first into consumerism is just as important a life skill as teaching them to cook and how to clean a bathroom. These are all boring legacy things I’m working on but all equally important.
Full disclosure: I also impulse purchased some wash-out hair colouring wax this morning so don’t be too impressed. I’m probably going to be losing my hair again soon so I thought I would have some fun with it while I can. (Plus Halloween is coming. Only two months to get those costumes ready.)