This week I’ve been spending my days researching potential paid subscription accounts (and going to multiple body scans like bone and CT because: cancer). I think this is the direction I need to go. I want to treat my writing more like a job and less like something I do when I find the time for it. If nothing else I can change my answer to “yes” when my therapist and/or my mum ask: “did you do any writing lately?” I’ve also been trying to reclaim my space. When the pandemic hit my computer moved downstairs and my time was spent teaching the girls instead of doing any writing for myself. It’s always easy to find reasons not to be doing the exact thing your soul feels you should be doing.
Over the past couple years I have written a short story in nine chapters and a novella in 32 chapters. I don’t think a publisher would want either of them. In fact I’m not sure the novella could be published since there are A LOT of musical references in it but that’s a big part of the fun of it. Both are fun stories that have been well received by the people I have allowed to read them and I would like to get them out there in the world.
Years ago I got pretty heavily addicted to fan fiction. Not because I particularly cared about carrying on the story of that particular fiction (in fact most of the stories I read had nothing to do with the original except borrowed the character names) but because I really loved – and I mean LOVED – having a story I was following that was serialized. (Also because I could read it on my phone while I nursed a baby all night long.) I imagine that is how people felt waiting for a new chapter from Charles Dickens to come out in the latest edition of whatever magazine they were published in. People would sit around and read them and re-read them and speculate what is going to happen next. I am in no way comparing myself to Dickens but I do love the idea of slow reading.
So I have a whole list of things I would like to do as I move forward into a more creative and monetarily funded role. I am trying to decide how many tiers I should have (two sounds the easiest but I may go with three) and I will always have a free tier for blogging and keeping in touch with people – I understand that times are tough and not everyone wants to read my stories. And, of course, there is always the caveat that I may get too sick to do much but for now, while I am feeling really good, I’m not going to focus on that. I’m going to focus on what I CAN do. I hope people will have enough faith in me to support me.
This week has been hard. In addition to side effects from the chemo medication making me really tired and not being able to eat much, one of my children developed a health issue that has resulted in a lot of work for me physically. (Laundry, laundry, and more laundry.) Plus it feels like this has been a highly emotional week for everyone. School work has taken longer, music practices have fallen by the wayside, and the weather wasn’t as nice as last week so I didn’t even get to spend as much time as I would like outside.
One wonderful thing I have been doing though is dedicating time to become a better sock knitter. If you’ve been reading through recent blog entries you know I was working on a ridiculous colour work sock. I’ve finished the pattern part of that sock but I’m still not sure if I feel the need to finish the actual sock except for fun – and it doesn’t feel like fun right now. What I want to do is get good at knitting socks for my family. My girls all like ankle socks and for the past couple years they have been getting socks from the Sketchers store and they barely last a season and it drives me nuts! Moira wears through her toes almost immediately and Fionnuala wears through the underside of her socks. It is such a waste to be buying those crap polyester socks that don’t even keep their feet warm and stink after a couple wears. Wool, even thin wool, is much warmer and is naturally deodorizing so it doesn’t stink like cheap polyester socks. Today I finished episode two of Earthtone Girl‘s No Fear Sock Knitting class and I’m really enjoying it. I’m looking forward to class three tomorrow – or maybe I’m just looking forward to going to bed right now because I am DONE with this week.
(These current blog posts are part of my #100dayproject and are written quickly and posted without significant editing. They are what they are, mistakes and all. Much like me.)
The sock matches The Order of the Phoenix. I’m almost done the body of the sock – just three more sections to go. I feel like the further I go in the pattern the more ridiculous we are trying to make the colours. This will probably be the last time I read The Order of the Phoenix aloud. I’m currently… Read more →
The other day I decided to concede defeat with knitting colour work socks. I have two different socks on the go and the amount of work that go into them is slightly ridiculous for someone with my average knitting skills. However, I picked this sock up today to frog it (a knitting term meaning pull it apart) and I ended… Read more →
I had big plans to write a loving letter to Oonagh for her 6th birthday (which was on Friday) and something about World Cancer Day – which was yesterday – but things got away from me. We have had multiple illnesses in the family culminating in my own body deciding to purge everything yesterday. The answer to the question, ‘why is mummy sick?” I think can be easily explained away by the fact that I have had a sick Oonagh practically on top of me at all times for the last two weeks. Not every illness is about cancer even when you have cancer, but sometimes I wonder if I get hit harder because my body is so busy fighting everything else.
So instead of any of those things I’m just moving on and looking at today as a fresh start – like every day should be but I’m better at living in the past and wallowing in regrets even if they are minor.
I had my “Monday morning meeting” (with myself) this morning instead of yesterday. I’m building up my to-do list for the week and even managing to cross some things off of it. I’m pretty sure Oonagh had a good birthday. I knit her a beautiful sweater which she will most likely never where except for the one time I’m going to try and get a photo of her in it (which I haven’t bothered to do yet). She is going through a phase where everything is uncomfortable except one pair of black leggings and a Pokémon t-shirt and I’m not going to fight it. She is the third child after all and I have been down this road before.
I made her pants too but haven’t finished putting the elastic waist in because I suspect these pants will also be rejected so what’s the rush. It has been years since I’ve sewn an article of clothing and I had to re-teach myself so many things but managed to enjoy the process so I’m counting it as a win. Those pants were also made from fabric that has been languishing in my stash for almost a decade and it feels good to use some of it up. It is hard to compete with the cheap tackiness of stores like Justice with their cutesy unicorn-barfed-on leggings. The Justice website say they are “empowering girls” – and they mean that by way of slogans on their shirts – but have sketchy labour practices in countries known for not doing enough for workers rights. On their website they say they have Supply Chain Transparency but according to the Good On You app their labour rating is “Not Good Enough” because they “source from countries with high or extreme risk of labour abuse.” So, I suspect this “empowerment” doesn’t stretch to the girls making the clothes. (Duh.) Also, their environmental rating is “very poor” which doesn’t surprise me because the clothing is already falling apart before it even leaves the store.
Anyway, to end today’s post here is an oldy-but-goody of our birthday girl.