Yesterday morning it probably took less than 30 post-wake up minutes before I was ready to give Moira away to anyone who came knocking at the door. If it wasn’t for my amazingly wonderful friend Jocelyn who had agree to babysit her (and took her to the zoo!) while I went to my doctor’s appointment I probably would have gone mental by 9 a.m. I’m not sure if it was because I knew I didn’t have to spend the morning with her that made Moira so unbearable in those 2+ hours before Jocelyn arrived or if it was just another day in the toddlerhood. Either way, look I’m going to be honest here and admit that I was glad to be rid of her.
Without Moira I was free to go solo to my doctor’s appointment for my first real prenatal visit (yes, tuberculosis at 17-weeks) and everything is fine except for the fact that I keep forgetting I’m pregnant because I’m too busy dealing with a demanding two-year old and buying a house to pay attention to poor Sprig who is probably wondering what all the screaming is about. When I was pregnant with Moira I read every book imaginable about breastfeeding and natural childbirth and whatever else I could get my hands on – this time I’m too busy being a Mom to worry about the giving birth part. I’m pretty sure that is typical of all first time vs. second time experiences. I haven’t even taken a photo of my very-pregnant belly yet.
Upon returning home I ate a tasty cinnamon bun bought from a bakery near the doctors office and had a lovely time drinking a cup of tea and reading a book… until the inevitable Where is Moira? ache started up. I think that sums up being a parent of a two-year old: they push every button possible, symptoms make you want to scream (or cry) with their defiance and tantrums and then when you do get a free moment away from them you notice their absence like a hole that is slowly widening in your heart.
Obviously this means that life isn’t so bad. Yes, Moira is driving me crazy. (After she returned from the zoo with Jocelyn – and of course she had been on her best behaviour the entire time – she begged for a nap and then raged instead of slept for the third day in a row). But still, I miss her when she is gone. Every day she says “hello baby” to my belly and talks about the “new person” in there (that is what she calls it, adorable no?). When she isn’t raging she is very engaging and charming, she now often speaks in five or six word sentences so it is easy to communicate with her (when she listens) and at least I know what she wants most of the time – even though that doesn’t mean I’m going to give it to her.
Unfortunately I noticed the stye developing under my right eyelid after I returned from my appointment today. I’m pretty sure my diet could use some improvement right now - I know my sleep could considering that during the seven hours of sleep I’m trying to get there are usually two hours in the middle where I am awake and trying to get someone to go back to sleep.
Today Moira spends the day with her grandmother and I have another so-called “day off” to do the million and one things that need to be done – hopefully I can fit a nap into my to-do list.