So many great comments on my post about motherhood I thought I would keep talking about it – what else do I have to talk about these days.
I would like to state for the record that I don’t actually feel guilty about not wanting to do crafts with my children and that I really do believe it isn’t my job to be their friend and I’m not bothered by that either. Yes, I sometimes feel kind of bad for them but not in a way that it is going to change anything. Kerry said children are fascinating but boring and I think that is a very apt description of them. I am fascinated by my children but am often bored by doing child-centered things.
Melinda said spending all day, every day, with her children would deplete her and I think that is another very apt description. I do find spending all day with these children depleting. However, I still think staying home with them is the best decision for us right now – even if I am sometimes counting down the days until they are all in school.
Of course the morning after I complained about doing crafts this happened:
They made necklaces from the graveyard of broken necklaces and they had so much fun they made bracelets again the next morning and I had to do very little except set them up which is my kind of craft. As Andreae said, I’m a facilitator: set them up and let them loose with as minimal supervision as you can manage. I think I probably base my child rearing philosophy a little too much on what Ma Wilder would have done even though there are absolutely no similarities to our lives.
The Mister and I read a National Geographic article years ago that talked about a mother in Africa who had to walk for a couple hours to get fresh(ish) water and then walk a couple hours home to her hut. She did this twice a day and left the four-year old at home to look after his younger siblings. When I think about this article it tends to put things in perspective. Sometimes I find myself saying things like, “If my not making playdough is the worse thing that is going to happen to you today you are having a really good day!” to my five-year old. I will admit that isn’t my best moment in parenting but it doesn’t make the statement any less true.
And since I have been thinking on it; here, in no particular order is how some of my views on motherhood have changed in the last five years:
- I used to think it was cruel to subject children so young to all-day Kindergarten. What 5-year old child needs to be away from their parent all day? This year I was lamenting the fact that the Alberta Government’s promise to start instating all-day Kindergarten in our province hasn’t come through yet. There are a couple of schools in the city that have it but none in my neighbourhood – and believe me, I checked. I have my fingers crossed that it will happen before Fionnuala is ready.
- I used to think that if I had children in daycare and had a baby at home I wouldn’t keep them in daycare. I’m home! I thought to myself. Why would I pay for someone else to look after them? Now I know why: it is a break for both Mum and children.
- We still don’t have a TV but we do have movies. As much as I would rather my children not be watching something every day if the battle is between Mummy losing her shit VS an hour watching 101 Dalmatians for the 101st time I think we know what I am going to pick. Fionnuala stopped napping before she turned 2 and is a mess during the afternoon most days. Movies save us all a lot of grief. I’m not sure what Ma Wilder’s stance on movies would be but if we ever meet I will be sure to ask her. I suspect she would have an unhealthy addiction to HGTV if given the chance.
For those in the trenches: in what ways have your views on parenting changed?