Saying goodbye to people and photos

I was in Ottawa last week from Wednesday to Sunday for a funeral and a quick mini-family reunion. My sister is the family historian and since she has recently moved to Ottawa she has been searching out all the spots where my mom’s family is from. Both the Cassidy and Corkery sides of the family (mom’s father and mother respectively) were from the Ottawa area – both sides going back to the 1820s I believe. Other than our small 5-person unit growing up I didn’t have any family around. Sometimes my mom’s brother Bernie (one of four brothers she had) would come and visit. He was also my godfather and a truly funny and fun guy. It was his funeral for which I made the trek out east.

Uncle Bunny, as I called him, was a salesman for Catelli pasta and Habitant soup. Habitant pea soup was probably my favourite meal as a kid (but not the kind with pork chunks because even back then that grossed me out). Bunny gave me my first camera. I ruminated on this on Instagram the other day. I hadn’t seen Uncle Bunny in years so I don’t think I ever told him how much that camera meant to me. How much I loved it when I was younger and how much I still love taking photos. My life started to be well documented from fifth grade onwards. I have piles of photos of houses from vacations, piles of photos of ducks from when I thought it would be really cool to have a pet duck when I was little. I also took many photos of the first love of my life.

Dumb Belle the beautiful.

One of my main goals for this year is to organize my photos (seriously – in the top 3 because they are hanging over my head like my own personal Sword of Damocles). When I was young I had no problem keeping them organized. People could only afford to print so many and I was a kid and had nothing better to do than stick them in photo albums with a nice highlighter designed cover page. I could often be seen with my camera in hand doing what I needed to do to catch the photo I wanted.

A very attractive photo of 16-year old me lying on the ground to get a photo of  flower gardens while on a choir tour in Aberdeen Scotland. Photo taken by a good friend who thought I was crazy but stuck around anyway and married me 12 years later – so who’s the crazy one?

As printing got cheaper the amount of photos I had to deal with got bigger and bigger and then things went digital and now I have thousands of photos that haven’t been organized, or (and this is the big one) printed. My mother used to complain that I never to photos of people but I guess I just needed to create my own people to overcome that obstacle. I plan on getting my shit together this year in regards to photos because I just don’t want to leave them for someone else to deal with when I am gone. I know that sounds rather defeatist but I don’t mean it that way. I just want to be organized for when the cancer decides to take a final stand. Dumbledore did say: “After all, to the well-organized mind death is but the next great adventure.”

Yeah, my mind is really not organized so I’m not ready for that step.

Taking photos is still fun and I love posting them online and being able to capture memories that way – but things on the internet have a tendency to get lost in the ether. At this point I’m starting with the photos I don’t want to organize. The other day I threw out a big stack of photos from my trip to Burning Man in 2001 because while I thought they were amazing and artistic at the time now they don’t really mean anything. And I can only remember the name of two of the people I went with anyway. These photos are going to mean nothing to the people I am leaving behind and I don’t want to burden them with them. (Also, some of them are not child-appropriate. It was Burning Man after all.)

Artistic shot of a stop light on the Playa as opposed to a not-so-artistic shot of mummy wearing more makeup than clothes. I will keep those photos though – my daughters will need to see that I had a life once before them.

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  One Reply to “Saying goodbye to people and photos”

  1. Jennifer
    February 13, 2018 at 10:05 pm

    Ok. We must pick an actual day and do this! I have a box of 5 years of photos I printed in 2015. At least 1200. I’ll come over with my empty albums, Sloane’s baby book and some coloured pens!

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