Day: January 9, 2018

Re-wiring my brain

In love with the winter sun.

My goal for this month is to post two blogs a week on Monday and Thursday and I have already fallen down on that goal. But my other goal is to tell myself – repeatedly – that my goals don’t have to be all-or-nothing. I am very much an all-or-nothing person and I’m trying to re-wire my brain and teach myself that each day is a day to start again. So even if I don’t know what to write about OR if it is Tuesday instead of Monday I am going to post a blog.

Warning. Today’s blog post is rambley and talks about parking again.

Yesterday I had an appointment with my oncologist for 10:10 in the morning. We arrived at 9:55 and paid for two hours of parking. I saw the doctor at 12:10. This is pretty standard. The oncology department was busy this morning and we knew there would be a delay (there always is). I don’t really blame the oncologist for this either – there are just SO MANY of us with cancer these days. Anyway. I stayed around afterwards for some X-Rays and left shortly after 1pm. One of the things I noticed while I was walking around the waiting room was that the hospital provides all these “free” programs and support groups for people going through cancer but I wonder how many people don’t go to them because they don’t want to pay for parking? I know that is always one of my deciding factors when it comes to any activity.

I did tell my oncologist that I need to be fully fit and healthy by mid-June because we have bought five plane tickets for Ireland for a month starting on the 14th of June and I want to enjoy this trip as much as possible. My oncologist said she often thinks about how terribly sick I was when we first met (I refer to it as “actively dying”) and what a difference she sees in me now. Then she said this: “I can’t cure you but I can try and give you as much quality of life for as long as possible.” Which is exactly what I am trying to do. I’m glad we are on the same page.

Today I was supposed to volunteer for an all-day field trip with Fionnuala’s class. But due to back and hip pain I cancelled. I think I was being overly ambitious by hoping that I could survive a day like that but if I’m not overly ambitious I’ll never get anything accomplished in this life, right? Fionnuala was very disappointed though and that’s just one more thing they are going to remember when I am gone.

I leave tomorrow for a quick trip to Ottawa for the funeral of my godfather whom I affectionately called Uncle Bunny. It’s a bit of a family reunion and I am more excited than I probably have the right to be since it is for a funeral – but I will take adventures where I can get them these days. You know what else I’m excited for? Four hours of uninterrupted reading time on the plane BY MYSELF! I’ve already downloading Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean At The End of the Lane on audio since it is next month’s pick for book club and now I just need to nail down a knitting project I can do on the plane for maximum child-free enjoyment. Plus the two other books I am currently reading. The possibilities are endless.

Trying to get outside every day.