100 Days

I’ve taken a couple of days to think about this and have decided I am really going to do it. It is something I need and yes, rx if you really want to know, sovaldi sale I think it is going to be really hard.

And lonely.

I started blogging twelve years ago for various reasons but I will tell you I was going through a very lonely time in my life. Or maybe I was coming to the end of that lonely time? I was in a relationship that at times was held together by my fear of being forgotten after putting so much effort into it. First I wrote obsessively in journals – and then I discovered the world of blogging. For the first time I had people to talk to while I wrote. It’s a lovely world at times but it can also be a bit much.

Twelve years is a long time in the blogging world – even if you have closed down numerous blogs and changed your name a number of times. As Steph at Bella’s Bookshelves mentioned in the comments on my last post the blogging/social media world is fickle. It takes time to build up a readership base and it takes very little to lose them. I’ve never been one of the popular bloggers and I’ve always been okay with that but I do appreciate every single person who reads my blog. At my best estimate there are approximately 12 loyal readers/commenters, two family members, a couple of my mom’s friends and two ex-boyfriends who pop in now and then but don’t leave comments. I am grateful to all who read – whether you comment or not.

However, somewhere along the way I’ve lost the thread of what I want to say. I’ve lost my focus. I get on the Internet and I open up a dozen or more tabs while trying to write a post and my attention span is pulled in a dozen different ways. I spend an inordinate amount of time doing nothing.

When I am away from the computer I think about the things I could be doing on the computer. I’m reading a book and the thought hisses slowly and softly in my mind, “check your e-mail.” I fight it for a while but as that snake hisses louder I put the book down and check. The Mister is helping the girls brush their teeth before bed and I turn to the computer. Why not fill those 2.5 minutes with pure nothing?

The Internet has killed my attention span – I have no one but myself to blame for this.

So how long am I going to step away from the Internet?

100 days.

100 days to break myself of what I feel is becoming a bit of an addiction.

100 days to relearn how to live with free time without filling it up mindlessly with checking my e-mail or blog surfing.

100 days is a long time in the blogging world but a month seemed too short. 40 days seemed too biblical and I’m not ready to start just yet so this isn’t a Lenten thing. 100 days seemed like it might be enough time to find myself again without searching the Internet to find who I am looking for. Sometimes the comparisons get to be too much – you know? The options too many.

So what will I do? Well, I suspect in the beginning I won’t know what to do with myself. Will I write or knit or sew or read? I will probably wander around the house a little lost. I fear I will be a little lost. Being on the Internet is a bit like having friends. I will miss the blogs I read all the time and wonder what is going on in the lives of others but it sometimes feels like I care more about what other people are doing than what I am doing and I need to get that back.

During this time I will hopefully be getting my second round of eye surgery and there is the garden to plant. I want to make some clothes for the girls. I want to make some clothes for myself. I have a whole house that needs purging and organizing and cleaning. I have a husband to hangout with in the evening. I miss holding a pen and writing letters.

This won’t be easy and it will take some preparation. No Internet means no obsessively putting books on hold at the library. It means no online recipes, sewing tutorials (that I have never followed anyway), knitting patterns or Internet shopping. In fact, I haven’t even thought of all the things it means. Obviously I won’t be able to give up e-mail completely because that is how people communicate these days but I am trying to decide the best way to limit that. Maybe twice a week? Only Sunday nights? See, instead of just letting go I’m already over-thinking it. How much do I prepare? Should I write down my favourite recipes or just wing it? What if the dozen cookbooks in my kitchen aren’t enough? What if I can’t sew anything from the hundreds of patterns in my basement!? (I’m joking here – see above about too many options.)

This all starts on March 1st and runs for 100 days. If I did my math correctly I will be back on June 9th. I will still be around here until then – still getting my Internet fix until I have the Mister change the password.

  22 Replies to “100 Days”

  1. Kat
    February 23, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Taters tootse… we’ll see you in June. I also find myself wasting naptimes with internet surfing instead of reading books, taking soaking baths, or sewing. Sometimes I feel it’s a waste, but just as often I feel like I need the mental nothingness, the physical repose, and the social connection. I’m interested to see how you feel about this once you’re back.

    • February 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm

      The social connection was all that kept me going after Moira was born. Believe me, I didn’t even consider giving up the Internet then!

  2. February 23, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    I can certainly understand the need to get off the computer. We try to limit the amount of time the kids are on but that’s hard when they see me or my husband on for hours at a time. Actually they see him more than me as I work on a computer all day so when I get home the last thing I want is to get on again but I do compulsively check my iPhone all the time for email, Facebook, twitter, instagram, ect ect ect. My blog reading is done via iPhone while settling into bed like right now or first thing in the morning before the madness of getting the kids to school and me to work begins.
    I applaud you for doing this.
    Good luck and big hugs

  3. February 23, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    Wow, will miss you, but I hope this gives you what you need. I feel the same pull of the computer sometimes, but am technology-adverse enough that I have no problem shutting it down when I need to.
    Hahaha right now I’m imagining you feeling the need to blog about what you’ve managed to do in the time you are not blogging ;-).

  4. February 23, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    I am sure after a few weeks you are not going to remember how you ever spent so much time on the computer. I applaud you.

    • February 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm

      I hope so! At least after a couple weeks I’m hoping the shaking and withdrawal symptoms will pass. : )

  5. Mika
    February 23, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    I’ll miss you!

  6. phx
    February 23, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    This is all so true… the internet has killed my attention span, too. If I didn’t rely on the computer for both of my jobs, I’d join you.

  7. Lee-Anne
    February 24, 2012 at 5:09 am

    I’ve been feeling just the same way lately. I’ve already made a commitment to do 90 days of yoga starting March 1, so I think I will join you in the Internet Moratorium. For me, it’s not so much the desktop computer as I rarely spend time there, as my phone (So portable! So omnipresent!). I need to bite the bullet and just do it (delete the apps – not just hide them!). 90 days takes me up to the point when we leave for the wifi-free cottage so it will be an easier transition than usual. I’m going to keep email and check once a day because it’s how my friends ask me out for tea and I don’t want to miss that. Good luck!

  8. Anne B.
    February 24, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Oh ,poopy, I’m going to miss the photos. I guess I’ll just have to call you!!

  9. Jen
    February 24, 2012 at 8:47 am

    I will give this some thought over the weekend, but I think I may join you. The screens in the house steal too many of the in-between moments of the day, when I could do something better, more useful. If all do is check my email occasionally & pay bills 2x per month they world will keep spinning!

  10. Jen
    February 24, 2012 at 9:04 am

    Good for you! I can’t join you (since I work in digital strategy!) but I hope it works for you. If you want someone to send letters to, I’m happy to send my address. πŸ™‚

  11. Lori
    February 24, 2012 at 9:21 am

    Now how am I going to start my morning? πŸ˜‰
    Good for you! and Good luck. All this really means for me is I will have to set up and lunch date for the near future before the craziness begins…. I will call you as I really don’t do the e-mail thing very well either (and I am trying to limit my facebook time). Miss you and I hope to see you soon.

  12. wil
    February 24, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Good luck! I think once you get through the withdrawal period you actually might not miss it that much. 20 years ago, everyone got along just fine without the Internet.

  13. jac
    February 25, 2012 at 4:29 am

    I am totally impressed (sincerely) and dying to know your thoughts once it’s all over. I’ll miss the photos too but I’m sure you’ll be taking them, just not posting them!

  14. February 25, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    Oo – if you want a pen pal, I’ll send you letters!

  15. February 25, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Wow. Even the thought of going without the internet is terrifying to me! I’m not hip to most technologies, but I spend a lot of time on the internet and can’t imagine going without it. (I justify it by saying that “our art business operates primarily online”, but it’s not entirely true. Sort of true, but not entirely.)

    Best of luck on your offline journey! I’m also really curious to find out how it goes…

  16. February 27, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Well, as a regular reader (and non-commenter, usually!), I will miss your updates, but I wish you lots of luck for productivity and regrounding in your 100 days!

  17. February 29, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Oh, I’ll miss you…but I totally understand. I’ve only been blogging for two years (with a 7 month hiatus) and I wonder “why?” sometimes.
    Enjoy your time off and reconnecting with the real world.
    xoxo

  18. March 15, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    So, I don’t know if I am counted in the numbers of those who read your blog but I am . You won’t see this comment until your 100 days are over since you are already 15 days in but I hope you come back and post some more wonderful life observations. I don’t have any blogs that I check on every day, not that I am not on the computer every day, but I always check in and catch up on what you have written. I love that you are real and honest here. I value what you have to say. So take your hiatus ( God knows, I should go to rehab to get away from the hold technology has on my life) but please come back!

  19. Lectio's mom
    May 27, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    Here it is, May 27, I haven’t forgotten you. Hope your winter and spring went well.

  20. June 10, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    I saw a tweet, so I think you must be venturing back into cyberland…welcome back!

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