Yesterday I managed to walk all the way around the block and other than tiredness my hip felt mostly fine. I’ve been wondering if my current pain problems were from laying down too much so today I decided to not lay down all morning. I even made a delicious Easter lunch (or as we heathens like to call it: lunch) for the family. The result was that I spent the afternoon laying down and alternating between dozing and crying because there is just nothing I can take right now that will take away my pain.
I strongly suspect that I have a cracked collarbone so any upper body movement leaves me internally screaming in pain – not externally though because that would freak out the children. Even lifting my mug of tea to my mouth is an effort. I am terribly afraid that there is more than one cracked bone in my upper body or lower back but even with calling the hospital to inform them what can they do about it? I’ve been living with cracked ribs for years and there is, in fact, nothing they can do about it. But right now, during our pandemic isolation, I suspect there is even less they can do about it. I had a bone scan a couple months ago and have another one scheduled for June and that is about all that is going to happen at this time. The last one was hopeful but physically things do not feel hopeful right now.
The thing about constant pain is that it makes all the little things hard to deal with – the noise and the clutter and the bickering and all those things that make up regular family life seem to be cranked up to 11 these days and all I can do is hide away in my room so I don’t lose my mind, or at least my temper.
The girls had a wonderful Easter morning. The Easter Bunny is very inventive in hiding candy (this year it was Mini Eggs) and the girls have a lot of fun finding it. None of them actually believe anymore – although Oonagh very much wants to still believe – but they are willing to overlook certain truths for the promise of an Easter Egg Hunt. They diplomatically divided up their findings by colour and made sure they each got to find their own colour of egg and Mister laughed because it was the complete opposite of how he and his brothers would have behaved. We didn’t have Easter Egg hunts at my house when I was growing up. Candy was hidden in our rooms – usually there was a chocolate Mr. Bunny behind the curtain balancing on the window ledge and a couple other things scattered. One year I came out of my room holding up a basket all excited because the Easter Bunny had left me an empty basket to fill – which actually meant that our Dalmatian had eaten all of my Easter candy and my older siblings had to run around the house hiding things in a panic. This was in the days before we would pump our dogs stomachs every time they smelled chocolate – and she was fine. That dog probably ate more chocolate in her life than Willy Wonka. (I used to bake her cakes on her birthday.)
This was lunch and it was delicious. Inspired by something cookbook author Emily Wright posted on her Instagram stories a while ago. This felt like a very Canadian meal with lentils and barley. I veganized it of course by using veggie stock and veggie sausages and it turned out really well and was a hit with everyone. I added a side dish of roasted cabbage just to make it extra Canadian – although really cabbage is a poverty vegetable and probably a staple in most countries.
(These current blog posts are part of my #100dayproject and are written quickly and posted without significant editing. They are what they are, mistakes and all. Much like me.)