Despite the fact that I need to use both hands to lift my teacup to my mouth, due to neck and back pain right now, I still can’t help looking at knitting patterns. I think that is the problem with being an eternal optimist. I really want to be creating something but even the smallest day to day tasks are a challenge but my brain doesn’t stop hoping that one day things will get back to normal (whatever that means). I think I may need to concede defeat on my colour work sock projects though. I’m just too slow and I knit too tightly and it doesn’t seem worth it. Maybe I’m not cut out for colour work.
I spoke to the palliative care nurse today who spoke to my oncologist and we will be making some changes in what I call my “pain regime”. I’ve been on opioids since last June and while they say the dose isn’t high enough for me to really be addicted – or that you don’t really get addicted when your body actually needs them – I’m not so sure I believe them. But I’m also in no position to wean myself off of them at this time.
The sun is shinning today and I even sat outside for a while and then lay on the couch in a sun beam and enjoyed the heat. I’m determined to get out for a walk at some point because tomorrow it is supposed to snow again and then dip below freezing all weekend. Has anyone else told their kids that the Easter Bunny may be practicing social distancing this week and probably won’t show up? They didn’t believe me of course. I pretty much killed the Easter Bunny before Christmas when I took out the Tooth Fairy AND Santa in one accidental swoop. That’s a story for another day though.
(These current blog posts are part of my #100dayproject and are written quickly and posted without significant editing. They are what they are, mistakes and all. Much like me.)